The Ides of March
by eventidespirit
Summary: Strange happenings, mysterious strangers, misadventures in the bathroom, a spying escapade, and a bit of a LOTR parody...what else could go wrong? (guarantee from the author: this will cheer you up if you are having a crappy day :) ) read and review!
1. Strange Happenings

All right, I finally figured out how to get _italics _in a story on the site!

Disclaimer: I own nothing, so sue me.  I dare ya.  

**Ides of March** Episode 1: Strange Happenings 

     Hi!  My name is Serena.  I'm too lazy to describe all my pals and who I am and all that junk.  Hmmm…  When did this all start?  It was June 30.  Oh! No!  That's my birthday.  Or maybe it was October 31, no that's Halloween.  No that can't be it.  

     _Raye grabs the pen from Serena._  Since Serena is such a dumb… _Raye is about to write a rather unpleasant word when everyone gasps and Serena (in slow motion) runs towards Raye and pushes the paper away.  Inconspicuously, at the same time, she manages to take Raye's pen without anyone seeing._

_     Serena takes a huge breath.  "There is to be absolutely and I mean absolutely no cursing!  (An American flag appears in the background and the "Star Spangled Banner" begins to play.)  Raye!  You should be ashamed of yourself.  You were about to commit a heinous deed.  By saying that dreadful word, you could have sullied our pure reputation as sailor scouts.  This is supposed to be a G-rated fan fic and we're supposed to be the sailor scouts!  There are tons of little kids looking up to you, to all of us.  Do you know how bad an example you could have set for those kids by saying that word????  We are the sailor scouts and we must be good role models!  Oh! Geez how did I know how to use all these words?  Guess I've been hanging around Amy too much." _ 

_     At this point, all the scouts except Raye have been sweat dropping like crazy.  Raye, meanwhile, took Serena's speech seriously and has put her head down in ignominy and her eyes have started to water.   "Oh dear!  I'm being such a horrible role model.  I should now write an apology letter or note to all my fans.  Hey!  Wait a second, where is my pen…Serena!!!"  _  

_     Raye is furious as she realizes that she has been fooled by Serena (of all people) and pulls Serena down in a foot lock as she tries to grab the pen from Serena.  Serena is screaming out in pain when Amy suddenly interrupts the two. "Hey you two, don't fight.  And I just found out when all our misadventures began.  According to my diary which contains all my most private innermost_ _thoughts, it says it was the Ides of March or the fifteenth of March." Mina gasps.  "A diary with all of Amy's most private and innermost thoughts?  Oh my gosh!  I've gotta read that.  Oh!  Amy let me see."  She tries to get Amy's diary, but Amy runs away.  Mina, being the graceful one of the group, accidentally trips on Raye and Serena who are still wresting each other and fighting for the pen as she chases Amy.  _

_     Raye suddenly realizes that after Mina tripped over her, her hair has (gasped) been messed up.  Crying out bloody murder, Raye releases Serena and starts chasing after Mina.  At this precise moment, Lita enters the room and sees all the commotion.  Amy has mysteriously vanished and Raye is madly chasing Mina around the room.  "Lita help me!  Raye has gone nuts!"  Meanwhile, Serena is still sprawled on the floor, exhausted from wrestling Raye.  _

_      After seeing that well comparatively, Mina was the most sane out of the three girls in the room since Raye is quite insane angry and Serena is well dazed, Lita decided to Mina about what had happened.  In response, Mina breathlessly pants "Must read Amy's diary which contains all of her most private and innermost thoughts.  Raye get off me!  Amy's getting away!"  The realization of a diary full of private secrets suddenly hits Lita and she sees Amy quietly and quickly trying to head down the stairs.  "Amy!  You are not getting away!  Screw privacy!  Let me see your diary!"  Lita starts chasing after her and Mina who has finally figured out that she could indeed try to get away from Raye by leaving the room and also begins to chase after Amy.  Of course, Raye is still insanely furious with Mina for (Heaven forbid messing up her hair) and continues chasing after Mina.   Serena starts to follow but then realizes that she is alone, still has the pen (which is surrounded by a golden halo right now and the song hallelujah starts playing), and that she could be the first one to narrate the story.  After all, everything did begin at her house.       _

_Thus begins our story, with Serena narrating the first chapter/episode._

     Ha!  I get to write the first episode of these series.  In your face Raye!  Wow, I went through all that trouble just to write the first episode…  I wonder how much trouble it will be to write the last episode…  Oh!  Forget about the last chapter for now.  I will find another plan to deviously prevent my friends from writing it.  Anyways it all started on a cold dreary and stormy night.  The lightning flashed outside our house in the direction of that evil institution called school where there are worse things than monsters and villains like teachers and homework and tests that just pop out of no where and pounce on you.  The thunder reverberated outside.  Yes, another typical day.  I will be heading to that torture chamber called school.  As I contemplated these thoughts, suddenly a monster with an ax in its hand stood behind me prepared to strike…

O dear!  I'm sorry, got carried away there.  I've always wanted to write a mystery.  Besides didn't that just spice up the story a bit.

Who am I kidding?  It truly all began on a typical dirt boring school day…

     I screamed as I looked at the time.  As usual, I was late.  Wait; in fact, I was even later than I was usually, which is not saying too much.  (I have been prone to waking up in the middle of the school day and then rushing there.)  "Oh my God!  It's almost seven.  Mom!  Why didn't you wake me up?" I yelled as I grabbed my uniform and bag and quickly ran downstairs.  Sammy and dad were both rushing around too.  "Serena, did you see your mother?"  I shook my head.  Where was she?

     Gasp!  My mom didn't wake us up.  Why?  Did she (gasp) forget?  Or maybe she purposely didn't wake us up?  What did we ever do to get this sort of abuse?  "Sammy!  Dad!  We need to find mom!  Search the house completely!  We must search every floor, room, cabinet, and crack in the wall until we find mom.  Signal SOS with your flashlights (I handed them out right then) when you find any clues as to the whereabouts of mom!"  (Geez, I must really stop hanging around Amy.)  

     We split up quickly and in less than half a second later I see a flashlight going off.  Sammy's flashlight.  "Dad! Serena!"  Sammy yelled.  "Mom's hiding under the table.  Mom get up!"  

     "Don't you know it's bad luck to even be walking around on the Ides of March?  The planets are aligned!  I tried to warn as many people as I could, but my own family doesn't even listen to me.  Wahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!  See look at all the math I did."  My mother began to explain herself.  A huge pack of papers with lots of math done in small handwriting fell to the ground.  Huge sweat drops fell from our heads.  "Look, since fifteen plus eighteen divided by sixteen and multiplied by fifty six plus a zero place holder equals seven thousand twenty four and the square root of ninety five million eighteen hundred times one thousand plus I or root –1 creates a parabola when applied graphically to an equation…"  

      We are completely dazed for at least twenty minutes after mom finishes.  Sammy gains his senses the first.  "Mom's lost it.  Come on let's go.  I'm gonna be so late."   

       "Me too."  I agreed with him for once.  "I'm probably getting detention for the this year and the next at this rate."

       Suddenly, my mom runs toward the door and blocks the way.  "I can't let you guys out of this house.  Serena!  Listen to yourself.  You're already late and you hate school, so why bother going?  You're going to get detention today!  And listen, bad stuff always happens on the Ides of March.  When you were one, you tripped and fell and cried!  The next year you burned yourself.  And then on the next year a dog chased you…"

      After what seemed to me as an hour, "And in conclusion, this year something more horrible than that kid Melvin trying to kiss you will happen."  Sammy was really ticked off by now.  "Mom!  Shut up with this crap about the Ides of March."  We all sweat dropped.  Wait a second, she did make some sort of sense, but no I actually couldn't miss school today.  There was a math test, which I really didn't want to take, but I had to take and pass it if I wanted to graduate.  I suddenly got a great idea.  "Oh my God!!!!  Mom look behind you!"  My mom turned around.  In a flash we all ran outside.  " Come back!"  She yelled and tried to come after us, but once she looked outside, she timidly hid behind the door and continued yelling at us from behind the door.

     "I am soooooooooooo late!"  I yelled as I sped up.  Wow, you know what maybe I should join the track team.  I do seem to get a lot of practice running.

      I ran toward the bus stop looking at my wrist.  Oh! Right! Forgot I didn't have a watch.  A person slapped me on the back.  "Ouch!"  I yelled.  I looked behind me.  Lita and Mina were there.  "Serena!  You're late too!  At three in the morning, this crazy lady called about the Ides of March.  Then I couldn't get up when the alarm went off.  We are so dead."  Said Lita.  "Oh my God!  The same thing happened to me."  Said Mina.  I felt tears of annoyance (the anime tears) streaming down my face.  "Serena?"  I put my hand up and laughed.  I really need to think about sending my mother to a psychiatrist.  Really did she have to call my friends too?  

       "Amy's probably at school already, unlike us idiots.  I should have hung up on that lady, but she just wouldn't stop talking and I know how horrible it feels to have people hang up on you...not that I've had any personal experience with that."  Mina laughed.  Sure, no one's ever hung up on her…  The bus came and lots of students started running.  "Wow!  A lot of people are sure late."  Lita exclaimed.  The bus waited a little while after everyone was on the bus.  Suddenly, we all saw Amy running toward the bus gasping.  "Amy: late!  This is a new one.  Here sit down."  Mina got up and offered Amy a seat.  Amy muttered a thanks and was still gasping for air.  "This woman called at midnight…  She kept on talking…  Alarm stopped working…  You know she sounded a lot like your mom, Serena."  

     I laughed and blushed.  "You know my mom has one of those voices that a lot of people have."  Heh heh…not!  I was really considering sending her to an asylum at this point.  I may not be bright, I may not be smart, well actually I'm pretty sure I'm not, but I knew that all these people being late couldn't be just a coincidence.  Dun Duh Duh…It had to do something with my mother!

      Class that day was the weirdest ever.  I walked into math with Lita.  At the front of the classroom was a blond haired man.  He looked familiar.  Jadeite?  Wait he's dead.  He turned around.  "Serena!  Or should I say Sailor Moon.  Don't worry.  I'm a good person now!  I donated money to charity today so I wouldn't have to pay as much tax.  Wait!  You shouldn't have heard that.  I'm doing this job as a springboard to those jobs that pay really well.  Well, somehow, today was my lucky day.  You know all the teachers at your high school quit so I got a job here.  Anyhow, these notes from your old teacher don't really say what you people were learning, so what do you people learn now a days in math?"

      "Addition."  I lied.

      "Really?  Wow!  I thought Earthlings were dumb in the past but now, my gosh…  You Earthlings must be getting dumber and dumber."  I grinned.  To this day, I still can't believe he believed me.  For once I might pass math.  

       Everyone soon arrived in class.  "Hi class!  I, Mr. Jed now will be teaching your class.  Your old math teacher, Ms. Math, quit today after being fed up being in this town with crazy people after some lady called her up at around midnight."

      I felt red all over.  My mom is so strange…  Now wait a second, how is it that she called so many people and talked for so long with them at the same time.  I mean we don't have multiple phone lines do we?  Oh wait a second, she couldn't have bought more phone lines for our house could she?  Oh dear, I will definitely not be home when my dad gets the phone bill.  

     The teachers we had were strangely all our old enemies that I thought were dead.   I wasn't too thrilled to see them.  Something fishy is going on… Wait a sec…. This is actually helping me…. I might pass a course!!!!!!!!

      The day actually ended as fast as it began.  Mina somehow "misinformed" the teachers of when the day ended and that it was illegal to give homework.  I rushed home, but then remembered my mom… and her Ides of March.  Maybe Raye's was better…No… she would yell at me.  I always went to her house.  I mean I practically lived there and that was something Raye wasn't all too thrilled about.  How about Amy?  She was usually nice.  Well usually was the key word today…  she was absolutely furious with all of us for not telling the teachers the truth about giving homework and when the school day ended.  Poor deprived girl, she wanted her education.  Hey that's probably why she marked this day off in her diary.  Mina and Lita had wandered off to the mall and as usual, I was broke, actually in debt and going to the mall again would tempt me into being more in debt.  And, Darien, my sweetest, was unfortunately at college, which was miles away from my school and would involve too much effort to reach.  I sat down on the street and sighed.  "I guess I'll have to wait until Sammy gets home to face mom.  A great day wasted."

     Suddenly, a voice yelled my name.  It was Jadeite!  And all his teacher pals.  Beside him was Ann and Alan who were kissing and making out while walking, Zoicite and Malacite also kissing and making out while walking, and Sapphire and Emerald surprise surprise kissing and making out while walking.  Now how do they do that?  I can barely walk none the less multitask.  Jadeite had huge sweat drops over his head.  "See what I have to deal with all day!  All these people kissing, making out, and being all so mushy!"  He then grabbed me and shook me.  Sweat beads filled my head and he yelled with fire coming out of his mouth.  I pulled away toasted and fell to the ground.  "Well I feel so much better now.  Thanks Serena.  I'll give u an extra A"

_     Serena hears a loud crash followed by several shrieks and decides to look outside of the room.  Clutching her manuscript, she peeks down the stairs.  She let out a sigh of relief as she saw that her house was still in tact; messy, cluttered, but still in one piece.  The last time the girls had a row, the results were not pleasant.  Let's just say that Serena's house had to go through some major remodeling.  _

_    Serena smirked as she saw that the girls were all piled up on the floor with Amy on the bottom.  Amy tried to crawl away, but each time, she was punneled to the ground by the other girls.  "Show us the diary!!!!"  "Get off my foot Mina!!"  "Stop kicking me Amy!!!"  "It's my diary!!! Get off!!!!"  "LITA!!!!!!!!"  "Raye u idiot!" _

_     Poor Amy…  Serena contemplated going to help her friend, but suddenly saw how violent the other girls were.  On second though, Serena decided to return to her room and continue with this story.  Amy's smart, she'll figure a way out of this mess. _

     Ok.  Back to the story.  Where was I?  Oh! Yes!  Jadeite, villains, school, and what not.

      Jadeite did finally figure out that we were not learning addition in math class after a few weeks.  Of course, I had a little chat with him when he realized this horrible truth:

     "Serena!  How could you simply 'misinform' me on what you guys were learning in math!  I trusted you!  Now, you'll probably get me fired from this and I'll never see the beautiful, gorgeous, siren of a principal Ms. Haruna again!  And she'll hate me after this!"  Jadeite was red with fury for a few seconds but suddenly turned towards the window and wistfully sighed.  "She's so beautiful.  She practically floats.  I'll never get the courage to talk to her.  No!  My life will be over when she fires me."  

     I glanced out the window.  Wow, no wonder he was so obsessed with her.  She did practically float.  Her outside surroundings started moving in slow motion as she passed by slowly.  Her hair glistened as she flipped it back and her teeth shined as she flashed a quick smile to an acquaintance in the schoolyard.  Must be a new hair shampoo.  Maybe, I should get it.  I wonder what Darien would do? 

     How sweet!  He was in love.

     Now using my wits (yes I may not be intelligent but I do have a brain), I decided to do a bit of persuading.   

     "Jed, I could help you with the Haruna issue.  She was my teacher last year and I was one of her (cough cough) favorite students."  I smiled a bit.

     "Oh my gosh!  Did I just say all that out loud?  The part about Haruna?  I didn't mean to…Wait your getting me off topic.  I'm here to punish you school-wise for telling me to teach the wrong subject."

     "Oh, but Jed.  Come on now.  We students are all _very_ happy with your math class.  And do you really want to be teaching us trig right now?  Addition, after all is a lot easier to teach than say sines and cosines.  And besides, you've have to work really hard, stay after school and help us with math once you start trig.  So what do u say?  Forget about the real math we're supposed to be learning and give us the trig!"  I smiled sweetly.  He's getting convinced.

     Jadeite contemplated my proposal for a bit.  "Haruna is going to observe my class soon.  What would I do then, sailor moon?"

     "Um…pretend to teach us trig for a day?"  I suggested. 

     To my surprise he nodded.  "Now, if only I can get the courage to talk to that Haruna."

     And that is when I got myself into this mess.  Well actually, I got myself into two messes.  No, I didn't really get myself into the second mess.  It just sort of happened… 

     In my idiocy, I promised Jadeite to spy on Haruna, to make sure that she is single, and to get them together.  So that is how I ended up spending my Saturday or should I say wasting it in the park.  I climbed onto the tallest tree in the park so that I could see everyone and everything in it.  I had overheard Haruna talking about going to the park to meet someone on Saturday from sneaking around near the teachers lounge.  

     "She's finally here."  I almost yelped in joy because all these mites and bugs from the tree were making my legs and hands very itchy.  I would have left, except I had already promised Jadeite that I would spy on her for him.  Now wait a second, if he was the one in love, why am I doing all the spying for him?

     Oh no!  I gasped in horror as I saw a man walk toward Haruna.  Poor Jadeite.  I sighed as I expected him to be the person she was supposed to see, but was instead pleasantly surprised to see that he just passed by her and continued to walk towards another woman in the park.  

     Haruna continued walking and I leaned forward in the tree to see where she was going.  Oh no!  I had leaned too far!  My hands slipped from the large tree branch that I was hanging onto and I fell forward.  Thankfully, one of my feet were still stuck to the tree and I tried to get up again.  As I struggled I heard strange bits of conversation.

     A deep voice whispered, "I think she's the one."

     Another voice, a girl's voice muttered in reply, "Whom do you mean?"

     The man remained silent (he was probably motioning towards the particular person he was talking about), but the girl persisted in asking until he finally blurted out in frustration "I mean the freaking girl in that tree who's about to fall off.  And if I must talk any louder, we might as well let the whole park know about _it_."  

     The girl in the tree!  Why that's me!  Who were they?  What did they know?  Who sent them?  Was it the Negaverse?  Were they even sent by anyone?  Or am I just being too paranoid?

     I glanced over to see who these two mysterious strangers were.  They did not look too menacing; they weren't monsters and seemed to be about my age.  The girl looked normal enough.  She had long dark blond hair and seemed very poised and uptight.  She was talking eagerly about something.  I couldn't hear her very well.  The guy, on the other hand, was a different story.  He had gravity defying hair that was all slicked in from of his face, covering one of his eyes.  He must have used pounds and pounds of hair gel to get his hair that way.  Suddenly, the boy looked over at me and realized that I was watching them.  "She's watching us…" he muttered and motioned her to be quiet.  They then walked away.  I tried to get down from the tree as quickly as possible to follow them, but they seemed to have vanished by the time I climbed down.  Oh no!  I had lost Haruna too.  I bowed my head in defeat.  My battles with the itchy bugs had all been for nothing.  

Author's notes:  

I hope you enjoyed my fan fic.  It's my first and I would appreciate it if you reviewed it.  I tried to make it as funny as possible, don't know if that worked out though.   And this chapter is bit long and the events are a bit spread out because I wanted to fit some GW people into this first chapter and to get straight to the action (sort of).  More of them will appear in the next chapters.  

Preview of next chapter: 

Amy's turn to narrate: she meets some strange people… in the bathroom!  (No it will not be perverted in any way, shape, or form.  It will be perfectly acceptable for a PG rating.)  


	2. Bathroom Blues

The madness continues…

**Ides of March**

Bathroom Blues

     _Amy looked at the stairs to Serena's bedroom- the steps to heaven- were merely about 3 yards away but oh that was an extremely long distance when you were trying to protect your life secrets, your privacy, and everything that you cherished.  She ran a bit forward but then realized the oncoming challengers, her "friends."  However, under the influence of the desire to reach the diary, the one diary, they were transformed into vicious girls who wanted to steal all of her secrets._

_     (Dramatic Gladiator music begins playing…)  Amy breaks into an all out run as she races towards the stairs.  The other girls now clad in armor and carrying weapons (like pillows and clubs) chase after Amy.  "Amy give us the one diary!  Give it to us now!  You're on the losing side!  Come on just a little peak!"_

_    Amy ignores them and continues running.  Suddenly, she feels a gust of wind blow past her…  Oh! No!  She had forgotten to calculate her friend's fighting skills.  Of course, Lita and Raye, the most aggressive fighters of the team had the strength and the velocity to jump in front of her.  They lifted up their clubs as they prepared to strike and grab Amy and the diary.  Amy, clutching her diary, ducks under them both as they strike and rolls in between the two girls.  _

_     "Haha!  I'm home free!"  Amy smiles brilliantly, satisfied with her awesome escapade.  Lights shine brightly and cameras flash as she continues running almost floating towards the stairs when suddenly, unbeknownst to her, there is a small wrinkle in the carpet and Amy falls- falls-right on her face.  NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!  She yelled as the other girls approached her.  She was so close, yet so far.  They grab at her feet as Amy tries to scramble up the stairs.  Amy kicks at them.  They get closer as they grab at her leg.  _

_    Poor Amy, her fate seems sealed…the girls will get her diary and know all her secrets.  All is lost when she makes a startling discovery- she still had an alternate plan to stop the girls._

_     "Girls, oh my gosh look at that hot guy outside!"  Amy yelled and quickly kicked off her friends' grasp and raced up the stairs.  The girls of course had all stopped to look for this guy, but seeing no such man, they angrily charged back at Amy.  However, they were too late.  Amy flashed a smile as the slammed the door to the stairs right in front of them and locked the door.  _

_    "Hey Serena!"  Amy called up to her friend after locking the door.  She was now in Serena's bedroom-the safe haven.  Serena had just finished writing the previous chapter and was curious about the racket downstairs.  "Please say that my living room is in one piece, Amy."  Amy nodded and smiled.  "The girls tired to get my secret diary, but I escaped and foiled their plans!"  _

     Serena gasped as she heard the word secret diary.  Could it be true that Amy had Amy's one secret diary with her?  Greed and malign flashed through her eyes.  Yes!  Yes!  She could be the one to take this one diary!  Amy realized her friend's sudden change in expression.  Oh no!  The one diary was affecting Serena as well.  This diary was tearing up their friendships, it was ruining their lives, and it would destroy the sailor scouts!

_     "Give it to me Amy!"  Serena yelled as she tried to grab the diary.  _

_    "No!  Serena, don't!  I am the diary bearer.  I must bear these burdens alone until I can destroy it at the…paper shredder!  This diary, can't you see, is ruining our friendship, destroying our utter closeness as sailor scouts.  I'm sorry for causing all the trouble.  This diary must be destroyed."  _

_     Serena grimaces, but then seems to relax and looks a bit solemn.  She kneels down in front of Amy and takes out her sailor wand.   "Amy, you're right!  And I will support your efforts to destroy this diary by my sailor wand, but I need to get ready first for this mission:  the mission of to destroy this one diary which .  Hey continue this account of our adventures for me.  The pen, the power is now in your hands, Amy."  _

_     Amy nodded.  "I shall begin then."  _

_    Thus, (I like that word), our story continues…_

_*****************************************************************************_

     Serena's done quite a good job describing the situation surrounding the beginning our misadventures, especially with our school.  Our poor school, where we the poor students will not receive a good education, especially in math.

     Even though Setsuna had promised us that our former villains were indeed good and harmless, I still had my doubts.  Sure, Serena trusted them all completely, but isn't she the ever so pure and naïve one?  

  Something about the situation still irked me.  Setsuna was not completely convincing that she needed no help with us in the time gate.  Something terrible, I feel, is happening.  

     We have not heard from her or the outers since two weeks ago.  Setsuna sent us a small transmission on a hologram:  

     "Girls, relax (especially you Amy).  Your former villains are truly reformed now.  I am sure of it.  I've freed them from the evil of the Negaverse because you girls will very soon have to deal with something bigger, more important…"

     The transmission started hissing then.  And I could distinctly hear Miruchi and Haruka calling for Setsuna to help them.  

     "Girls, we are fine.  You will have more than enough to handle in your world soon enough…" And with that the transmission went blank.  

     After countless failed attempts to reach the time gate (the time guardian probably blocked all people from the gates), we have given up and just hope that our friends are all right.

     I contemplated these thoughts, these problems as I finished helping Ms. Haruna move her old belongings into the principal office.  It may appear that I am acting as a "teacher's pet" and I admit, I may enjoy helping the teachers out a bit too much (I've written lesson plans for them and even created some tests), but I respect them and help all people who are in need.  Of course, at that moment, Ms. Haruna, the new principal was in need of more help than I could offer.  

     "Now, Amy, if you would please move that beautiful picture of my beautiful self to the right a bit, that would be great.  No, no, move it back a bit to the left.  Wait, that is pretty bad for the décor of the room."

     Yes.  Wasn't she modest?  Nope, I could not bear to stay here helping her any longer.  The moving of the portrait, the unpacking of the files, and the organizing of the files was enough work for me in one day.  And apparently, it was enough for Haruna, as well.  Who sat in her pink (how tacky) leather-revolving chair and sighed.  "Oh! Amy, it's so much work being the most important adult in the school isn't it? Oh!  I still have got to paint this room all hot pink, my favorite color.   I mean just moving all my stuff to the office is enough to last me a lifetime.  But no, as a good citizen, I will lead this school to greatness!  I will of course be the best principal of the school has ever seen."  She manically laughed for a second.  Perhaps, Setsuna had meant that Ms. Haruna would lose her sanity…would dealing with her be great task?  She then stopped laughing as her eyes fell onto a small group picture of all the new teachers at this school.  "Perhaps then, after I'm the greatest principal ever, perhaps then, Mr. Jed would finally notice me or at least say a word to me…Oh, he is so dreamy, just staring at that delicious chin makes me want to drool."  That was pretty scary.  Ms. Haruna, love sick over Jadeite.  I looked over at the picture, his face, chin more specifically, was clearly nicely shaven.  Must be that new ultra sharp razor-matic 7001 that's on the commercials all the time.  Serena was trying to get Darien to buy one of those.  If she sees this picture, I'm sure that she'll try even harder.  

     After watching a manic and lovesick Haruna all within the long span of 10 seconds, I realized that I had better be leaving.  It was getting late and I should be getting home.  I decided just to slip out, hoping that she would save painting the entire room (shiver) hot pink for another tragic day.  

     My mind was of course too boggled to think straight after hours of organizing male teacher files (can you believe it?) in the order of attractiveness according to Haruna.  So with my discombobulated mind, I decided to run to the bathroom and soak my face in water for a bit.  Perhaps it could clear things up.

     I was so dazed as I walked into the bathroom that I did not notice the two girls who were arguing by the door.  I almost tripped over one of the girls who had very long brown hair and muttered an apology.  "No problem" the girl replied in a very cheerful and strangely deep guy-like voice.  I ignored the facts right in front of my face for a while as the two "girls" continued to argue.  

      Wait, as a matter of fact, as my mind cleared and as I looked at them, the two girls did look pretty masculine.  And their voices were suspiciously deep and man-like.  Could it be that there were two guys in the girls' bathroom just standing there freely?!  No this could not be…no it was actually true, but I will not by the force and morals of all that is right allow this gross violation of every girl's private rights!  

     "Maxwell!  You idiot!  You led us into the wrong bathroom again!  I told you we should have waited for Heero, the only Japanese one of us to lead us to the bathrooms!"  The Chinese looking guy yelled at his American looking companion.

     "Well, Wu-man, first off its Duo and I'm sorry.  When nature calls, I've just got to obey.  And besides as you said, your bladder was practically bursting.  And I know a bit of Japanese.  I know what the characters for girl and boy look like."  Duo countered.

     The other boy seemed even more furious "It's Wufei you oaf!  You what!  You can understand Japanese.  Then why the heck did you lead us into the weaklings' bathroom!"  Weaklings?  Girls?  I felt insulted.  I was still too shocked and shy to interrupt the two though.

     Duo merely smiled.  "From what I've learned, female bathrooms tend to be more sanitary than male ones and besides your bladder's now free be happy!"  

     Wufei continued to yell at Duo as I stood there.  "This is a dishonor to my family name!  First, I've gone into the wrong bathroom twice with you…and total Injustice!  These women!  They get couches in their bathroom.  That are actually quite comfy???!!"  Duo grinned.  "Yep, those are the perks to being in the women's bathroom.  And it's not twice; we've been in the wrong one about um… five times?  Do you remember…" Not wanting to hear about more bathroom mishaps, I decided to interrupt.  "Um…Excuse me...   Since you do realize that you are indeed in the wrong bathroom, could you two perhaps leave? It's making me very uncomfortable with you two in here and …" I began.  Duo approached me and placed his hand on my shoulder.  "I forgot my manners!  Yep, you probably aren't used to being in the bathroom with such an ugly guy like Wufei and a hot guy like me huh?"  I grimaced.  This was not turning out well at all…             

     I mean don't get me wrong.  Those two guys were quite attractive, but this was just such an awkward situation.  When I thought that things could not get any worse, two guys, well actually only one (did the barging), barged into the bathroom.  

     Another handsome messy brown haired teen walked in.  Behind him, a blond teen was blushing furiously.  "Please, Heero, we shouldn't be in here.  Look, there's a girl in here."  He covered his eyes.  

     "Oh!  Heero, Quatre!  You found us in here?  Man, you know me too well."  Duo greeted them rather strangely as Wufei began to complain more about their mishaps.  The one called Heero grunted as he rolled his eyes at Duo.  When he suddenly looked (no actually glared furiously) at me.  He pulled out a gun from nowhere (must be a space pocket) and pointed it at me.  I gasped and was even more shocked to see that his friends seemed to see no irregularities in this.  I've been trapped in the girl's bathroom by maniacs!

     Heero continued pointing the weapon at me as I began to hyperventilate.  I'm too young to die!  He turned to Wufei and stated, "She's one of the girls we're looking for."  Everyone looked puzzles.  "Uh Heero, in case you haven't noticed, she looks nothing like any of these sailor scouts we have to find.  I mean just look.  She isn't wearing a mini skirt like she was in that picture we saw."  I turned red in embarrassment.  Then, was shocked.  How did he know I was a sailor scout?  Why were they looking for us?  And, they had space pockets!  That had to mean they had some sort of power.  Setsuna meant them!  They were the important even that was supposed to happen.  Now, were they good or evil?  

     As his friends continued to still be confused and stare at him like he was insane (which I highly believe is true), Heero pulled out a (gasp) full size model of Sailor Mercury, me!  "Look!  They look exactly alike minus the clothes!"  He was frustrated now.  Duo and the others remained clueless.  "I still don't see the resemblance.  I mean if we made this girl wear that outfit, I could probably be able to see for myself more accurately."  Heero was furious now!  He yelled "How many freakin' girls could there be with blue hair?"  "He's got a point there."  Wufei agreed.  "Though even I have difficulty seeing the resemblance.  As they argued, I found out that they were paid a large sum of money to find us, though I did not know of the purpose why.  I feared that they wanted to kill something, or us so I tried to leave the room.  Heero immediately noticed and pointed his gun at me again.  

     Suddenly, the door opened.  And there was a teacher who came in!  No! My reputation as a good honest student was ruined forever.  I was caught in the bathroom with 4 guys (might I add attractive as well).  To my shock, it was not only a teacher but a male one.  It was Jadeite!

     "Oh hey Amy!"  He greeted me as if nothing was out of the ordinary.  "What's wrong?"  

     I began.  He could help me from this miserable situation.  "Jed!  First off, he (I pointed at Heero) has a gun, which he is directing at me and secondly, why are you in this bathroom anyhow?"  

     To my dismay, Jadeite looked at Heero's gun and gasped in joy!  "Oh my!  Is that the Terminator X 9000!  That hasn't even been on the market yet!  It's great for hunting isn't it?  And, oh you boys are smart coming into the girls' bathroom.  Honestly, our bathroom is a mess.  There's a huge clog again and the place reeks.  I usually come in here after school whenever I can.  I hate going into our bathroom."

     "But, Mr. Jed, aren't you going to reprimand anyone?  We aren't allowed to have guns in school, you know, against school rules?"  I asked.  

     He shook his head.  "Heavens no!  Don't blame me; blame my faith and belief in the Second Amendment!  And besides, with a great gun like that, you must feel honored to have such a great weapon directed at you!"  He then knocked three times on the wall.  A strange box popped up and he entered a numerical code.  He answered our questions by merely stating "Special teachers' bathroom."  

     Quatre now had begun whimpering.  "You guys, we've been using real guns the whole time?  I thought they were water guns!  Those soldiers who fell after I shot them, weren't just afraid of water?  I actually hurt them!  Ahhhhh!  I am a sinner!"  

     I tried to get to the door of the bathroom, but all the boys were blocking my way.  Heero continued pointing the menacing gun at me as I gulped.  "Where is the planetary sphere?"  I frowned.  What the heck was he talking about?  "I have no idea what you're talking about."  He frowned as well. "Tell me the truth now."  Hating being stuck in the bathroom with 4 guys any longer I asked "Can we please leave the laboratory before I tell you?"  I stepped back and tried to stand next to the "safest" person in the room.  The guys had surrounded me in a circle.  Heero's gun and Wufei's glare prevented me from standing towards them.  I decided to stand by Quatre, who seemed nice enough, but a boy sobbing and crying was a scary sight, so I stood by Duo who seemed to be the most normal of these people.  At this point, I was growing paranoid that another teacher or even worse, my friends would come in here.  They would make fun of me forever if they saw this.      

      Alas, my worst fears came true, as Lita and Mina just so happened to come to the bathroom.  "Amy!"  Lita gaped at me.  (She didn't seem to notice the gun.)  "Of all the girls I would expect to see with 4 hot guys in the bathroom!  I would have never imagined you were like this Amy.  Oh!  Amy, you player!"  I blushed.  This was turning out to be an even worse day than I had expected.   

     Of course, dependable Mina had wasted no time in flirting.  She and Duo practically looked like a couple in a matter of about a minute as she drew hearts on his chest.  Their antics were interrupted by a watch beep.  To my relief Heero muttered "Time to go.  We just got another message from our mysterious benefactor" and marched out.  Quatre and Wufei followed him quickly, while Duo remained for a while longer and blew kisses to Mina.  

     Lita, meanwhile, continued to integrate me.  "So what happened?  How did you manage to get those guys in here?"  I sighed.  It was going to be a long story.  

     The banging outside of Serena's room had grown so loud that Amy could no longer continue her writing.  "Serena, you can't hold them off at the door any longer?"

_     Serena nodded.  "It's time to block the door with all we've got!"  _

_     Amy looked despairingly at the door.  It was hopeless.  Her diary would be in their clutches before she could destroy it.  "So let the battles for the diary begin," she whispered. _

Author's notes:  Now that was a fun chapter to write.  Thank you to all my dear reviewers!  You guys rock!  Thanks for reviewing my story and please spread the word around.  Tell others to read my story!  

     I apologize in advance that I may not update very often.  I'm a very busy person.  It's my junior year and I'm taking like 3 AP classes and it's a lot of work.  Don't expect updates too often, I guess is what I mean to say.  But by all means, read and review!!!!  Oh! And I hope you got the LOTR parody I was trying to do with Amy and the diary.  I don't exactly know what I'll do for the next chapter yet, but it'll be good (perhaps some adventures in the land of Oz).  Oh and if your wondering where Trowa is, reread the 1st chapter!  I think I'll just have Serena and Amy narrate throughout the rest of the story because well, they're so few Amy centered stories out there and Amy's a better cool character to center a story around.  And with only 2 narrators, the story will be more focused and in depth on their specific adventures.  I have some pretty funny chapters in the future planned in my head right now, but there has to be a few more transitionary chapters before I get to them so that you know, the characters can know each other better and yea.  I'll stop blabbing now.

     Preview of next chapter:  For sure, a continuation of the stealing Amy's diary story

And the ever so cliché (I'm so sorry) arrival of the guys at the girls' school with twists on it of course.__


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